Just dont know how to describe this…(VENT)

  Even if today was such a bad day i still looked foward to talking to you. About so much thats been on my mind. It hurts me to think of you not hear alot and i don’t know what to do. I get mad at how unfair the world is to you and me sometimes.  I thanks God for how much he has helped us together. However i hate not being able to say I’m madly in love with you whenever i feel like it. To keep everything the way it is, like behind close doors. It sadness me i have to resort to this but then the results come to surface. We don’t know about the future of us, the world, or anyone.

 I et so scared when your gone. Trying to seem okay and keep going takes alot out of me but i still do it. I hate such long days. I hate not being with you and able to hug you. Or hide behind you hen I’m scared of the world. Today i found out that i had to start applying to colleges in 5 weeks. Yesterday i found out that 3 gay people were murdered in LA. MY friend said it so nonchalantly to my face like if she had no care in the world. Although how would she know? How would she know how im scared…how am i suppose to let you know im scared. That college is going to be such a big step in my life and yours too, i just don’t want to mess it up! I just wanna make this year perfect. To have the senior year i dreamed of..even if i know i cant have it.
……….way more to vent about but okay for now.